Serendipitwaddle - Tania Katherine

I may have mentioned I have been engaged for some time now. But the scary thing is that I don’t like to tell people. Three reasons for this:

1. Perception: I have some of the best friends in the world. They unconditionally want the best for me, hold my hand through all troubles & know the best jokes. But unfortunately, this can lead them to sometimes be judgemental about the things I do. And rightfully so: I do a lot of bold and stupid things. Often. In fact, my action ratio probably reads 100 stupid actions to 2 smart ones. With that, it’s often hard to tell someone I care about that I’m sure about a major decision when they know there have been so many ‘major’ decisions I was sure about that failed.

There’s no way to explain to people how sure I am of this. It’s a feeling I have & he has (which…when it comes down to it…is all is needed) but that can’t transport to others. I wish I could take that feeling and give out samples to my friends. I’m sure they’d be elated.

2. Bad Luck: Through no intentional actions, most of my friends and family have never met ‘him.’ For 9 months of our relationship, we were long distance and that distance coincided with some friends being away at college (and returning when he wasn’t in the city anymore). Plus anyway, our relationship probably wasn’t in ‘that’ place at that point. Of course, all of this is soon to change as we’ll be going to visit my friends and family.

A part of me still wonders though how judgemental those I love will be. This is essentially the combination of the two most important parts of my world. But sometimes things don’t mesh like they should.

3. Personality: I know that I should be excited to be engaged and should be giddy to get started on planning a wedding. But I’m not. I just rather be married. I’m not much a Charlotte from Sex and the City, I’m much more a Miranda (or even a Carrie on attempt number 2). I don’t want a huge wedding—I just want the people I care about. And when it comes down to it, I’m just so happy and grateful to be with Michael. I don’t need a hundred people to give me gifts and the like to be happy, I already have happy…presently sleeping in my bed. Maybe it’s because I’d rather live life for life and not for money. Am I doing it wrong?

I suppose at some point—however—world’s collide.